It continues, the war. Something inside me is telling to fuck it all and go ahead and push forward with plan A. Why? Is it worth the risk? With the highly doubt, she would talk and the possible situation leading into the after fact, if she does, it's confusing and mind-numbing.

People tell me, that for you to want someone's happiness you should let them go, but what if their happiness is with that person? No one ever thinks about that. People change or discover themselves. I did. I discovered that the highly doubt of me, moving on are slim because of all the reminders, everywhere. My left side is invading my right for the number, but luckily, the right has erased it, maybe. Few numbers slowly pull, but the left knows the numbers, it's pulling are the bad ones, and number I can not call, without repercussions to pay. I place myself on that I don't listen to people, but now, I'm thinking I should.

The question remains, should I let her go? She was gone for awhile, thrown into the deep side of the right, but that night brought her back, rampaging through, escaping back to the left and they aren't letting her go anytime soon, regrettably.

That night....

Everyone says prom is something to remember, but what do you remember? The dancing you've done? The people? What about the pain and problems that occur when someone as beautiful as she looked can throw you off to the point where you want scream and yell and you can't because the attention is brought to you, I don't know. My prom will always remind me of her, hence the not letting go, seeming to be a bad idea, and as well I can't. At least, the dreams have stopped of her, but as long as I'm awake, she is in my head, and if she isn't, the left scans for information being processed and finds something to connect with her, expand it across my mind, and forces me to think and feel and want to scream, just rip my skin off and die, but I can't. Too many people, surprisingly enough depend on me and with the idea of dying being plan 3, it seems only the second to last solution other then, just hoping college brings others in her place.

I've been told in college, I'll find someone. No, I won't. No one is like her. Her morals. Her ideals of right and wrong, but still can be evil. Thinking about it makes me hurt but wants to experience it again, among other things.

I don't know. The right side seems to just want whatever happens, happens because, well he can bend to anything, but he rather not allow the left side to suffer anymore as if he is trying to help, but couldn't regardless, I don't know. I just hope things, go as planned and I can figure some stuff out, because I don't know how much longer I can last with this idea, or addict the left side pushes me towards, it's horrible.